


The Banana Bus Squad's Dysfunctional Group Chat

by jax_m



Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: Crack, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Gamers, Group chat, H2OVanoss - Freeform, Humor, Lots of Cursing, M/M, obviously, text, text chats, vanoss - Freeform, video games - Freeform, what would you expect
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2019-11-18 22:11:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18127136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jax_m/pseuds/jax_m
Summary: It's pretty self-explanatory.You put the Banana Bus Squad (and friends) in one group chat, and all hell breaks loose.Updated twice a week (that's the goal), each chapter is just excerpts without a plot.





	1. Welcome to the chat...

**Author's Note:**

> I don't plan on having a set plot, but each text chapter is still in chronological order.  
> If you would like a plot, feel free to comment suggestions :)

_Welcome to the chat, Nogla, Vanoss, Terroriser, Wildcat, Basically, Delirious, Moo, Ohm, Lui, Mini, Panda, Scotty, and Bryce!_

_Nogla has renamed the chat "Banana Bus Bitches"_

.

.

Wildcat: what the hell is this

Terroriser: oh great, another place for people to fucking bully me

Wildcat: not our fault you're an easy target, pussy

Terroriser: shut up pig nose, go roll in piss

Nogla: two minutes, guys

Nogla: ITS BEEN TWO MINUTES AND YOURE ALREADY FIGHTING 

Wildcat: I mean, what did you expect????

Basically: ^^

Ohm: considering our norm, this is pretty chill

Terroriser: can someone get a hold of moo

Terroriser: we need to fucking record

Basically: isn't he still mad at you for fucking him over in golf it yesterday

Basically: for like the hundredth time

Terroriser: HE NEEDS TO GET OVER HIMSELF

Terroriser: NOBODY CAN HOLD HIS FUCKING HAND LIKE A BABY ALL THE TIME ITS A JUST A GAME JESUS CHRIST

Basically: says the one talking in all caps??

Panda: I wheezed

Nogla: ayo where's vanoss at

Terroriser: do you ever live a day where you're not kissing vanoss's ass

Nogla: stfu

Vanoss: I've been summoned

Wildcat: if anyone is kissing evan's ass its delirious

Ohm: literally

Terroriser: PFFFFFTTFF

Panda: I'M WHEEZING HARDER JESUS CHRIST

Vanoss: wtff

Nogla: LOLOL

Vanoss: ok den

Vanoss: the owl leaves

Vanoss: gudbye

Mini: y'all are straight bullies

Terroriser: see

Mini: I mean it's fine against Brian but like

Terroriser: WOW

Mini: :)))))

Terroriser: why am I friends with you asshats

Bryce: aw

Terroriser: except for you Bryce

Terroriser: you're okay

Bryce: yayy!!

Wildcat: I still stand behind the fact that Bryce is a 5 year old stuck in a 20 year old's body

Bryce: or perhaps, a 20 year old stuck in a 5 year old's body 樂樂樂

Wildcat: ...no????

.

.

Nogla: does anyone want to play skribble.io

Terroriser: Delirious does!!!!!

Delirious: NO

Delirious: FUCK YOU

Wildcat: when delirious chooses to reply to something he hates but ignores the comment about him eating vanoss's ass

Delirious: wait wHAT??

Delirious: WHEN WERE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT THAT????

Terroriser: did you even read the past messages?

Delirious: NO

Wildcat: oh shit HAHAHAH YOURE IN FOR A RIDE

Basically: he still hasn't denied it

Delirious: SHUT UP

Delirious: I DONT EAT ASS

Wildcat: in general??

Wildcat: damn what a sad life HAHAHA

Delirious: I'm lonely

Wildcat: oh

Mini: out of the 8 texts delirious has sent, 7 of which were in all caps

Basically: please dont tell me I'm the only one who read all of it in his stupid ass clown voice

Delirious: HEYYY

Wildcat: I'm with you on that one

.

.

Basically: vanoss

Vanoss: yea

Basically: can you tell your fucking subscribers to stop telling me to record with you

Vanoss: uhm

Vanoss: nnno?

Basically: ..

Basically: okay that wasnt really the answer I was expecting

Vanoss: ???

Vanoss: what do you want me to do????

Vanoss: wait, whAT WEre you expeCTING??

Wildcat: "hello fellow subscribers, this is a VERY important announcement so listen up bitches. marcel and i... we broke up"

Nogla: *GASPS*

Scotty: nO! IT CANT BE!

Mini: but they were so perfect for each other 

Delirious: HOW COULD THEY!?!??!?!?

Basically: ALRIGHT I FUCKING GET IT

Wildcat: cmon marcel

Wildcat: come back to us

Wildcat: to your roots where it all started

Wildcat: associating with evan just to leech off of him for success

Vanoss: i thought we had something going on between us marcel :(

Basically: jesus christ

.

 .

Moo: hey guys anyone wanna record somethin in like an hour

Moo: and before you ask, yes I made up with brian

Wildcat: nobody was going to fucking ask but okay cool


	2. discord drama

Lui: oh hey new chat

Wildcat: someone tell me why the amount of time it takes Lui to upload something is the same amount of time it takes him to find out about a new groupchat

Lui: oh hey gotta blast

Bryce: NO DON'T GO

Bryce: GUYS WE HAVE TO SAVOR THIS RARE MOMENT

Basically: trUE

Basically: LUI RECORD WITH US

Lui: y'all hear sum

Panda: LMAOO

Terroriser: we need someone else to join us for death run

Terroriser: lui get your ass on gmod

Lui: oh thats a yikes

Basically: he probably hasn't opened gmod in months

Wildcat: he probably hasn't turned on his computer in years

Lui: okay y'all are cising it

Basically: are we tho

Lui: ...

Lui: okay nvm you guys aint wrong tbh

.

.

Terroriser: mini's a bitch

Mini: jesus fuck

Terroriser: b i t c h

Mini: YES OKAY I GET IT

Terroriser: B I T C H.

Basically: I think we got the point my dude

Delirious: oh no what happened this time

Mini: literally nothing

Terroriser: he fucked me over in mario kart because he's petty

Panda: HA

Panda: why am I not surprised

Mini: I'M petty???????? 

Mini: nani the FUCK???

Mini: also it was ONE round

Mini: calm your tits

Delirious: brian are you actually mad about this lol

Terroriser: he stepped on my foot

Terroriser: pushed me off of the sofa

Terroriser: AND HE'S A BITCH

Mini: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Ohm: let's kiss brian's ass to make him feel better

Wildcat: get over yourself brian everyone knows you're a god at mario kart blah blah blah

Terroriser: :)))

Vanoss: guys

Vanoss: no

Vanoss: I'm clearly the best at mario kart here

Terroriser: shut the fuck up evan

Vanoss: ex dee

.

.

Wildcat: guys help i'm third wheeling delirious and vanoss

Basically: oooo yikes

Panda: praying for you

Moo: :((((

Terroriser: lol good luck with that my friend

Mini: that's a whole oof

Ohm: HA that succs

Nogla: what game lol

Wildcat: we're not playing a game

Wildcat: we're fuCKING waiting for Brian and Scotty to get on, so we can sTART THIS GAME OF PROPHUNT

Basically: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

Basically: you're fucked

Basically: Brian's "give me 5 minutes" = an hour

Wildcat: YEAH I KNOW

Terroriser: calm your ballsacks I'm opening up gmod

Wildcat: WHY AREN'T YOU IN THE DISCORD??

Terroriser: to make you suffer :)

Scotty: same tbh

Wildcat: YOU ASSHOLES

Wildcat: guys fun fact evan is a giggly little bitch with delirious

Wildcat: but you didn't hear that from me

Bryce: evan and delirious can literally just read all of this??

Wildcat: shhh

Delirious: tyler whATThEfUCk

Scotty: busteddd

Wildcat: y'all can't hear us but i'm laughing my ass off rn

Wildcat: SHIT EVAN KICKED ME OUT OF THE CALL

Basically: AHAHA

Basically: karma dude

.

.

Vanoss: you guys are just jealous

Delirious: evan nO

Vanoss: evan yes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so far so good with two updates a week...although that isn't saying much since this is only the second chapter...shhh...


	3. UHM EVAN???

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> College AU!

Marcel: HI CAN SOMEONE SEND ME THE PHYSICS 101 TEXTBOOK HW K THANKSSSS

David: do your own work bitch

Marcel: i doNt neED yOuR NEgaTiviTYYYYY

Marcel: I'm just desPeRATEEEE

Lui: r u ok marcel

Marcel: NOOO I HAD SIX CUPS OF COFFEEEEE

David: jesus, who thought that was a good idea

Brian: MEEEEEE

David: . . .

David: can we get some normal ppl up in here

Jon: bitch like you're any more normal

David: I'M NORMAL

Tyler: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAH

Tyler: great fucking joke

Brian: heyYYYY can anyone feed my fish at likeeee 9pm

Brian: finna get some ass tonight 

Tyler: get your fucking education boi

Brian: don't tell me you're not going to john's party 

Marcel: HELLOOOOOO

Marcel: STILL NEED THAT PHYSICS HW BITCHESSSS

Brian: stop with the FUCKING extra letters at the end

Brian: what are you a teenage tumblr girl

Marcel: yes

Brian: oh

Tyler: hey guys where tf is evan he still owes me $10

Anthony: he's at hockey practice

Lui: i'm p sure he's in music theory class rn

Craig: i thought he was tutoring?

Brian: how does evan make me feel like a shitty person without even being here

David: i guess nobody else is gonna question how evan managed to become a tutor when he's stupid asf

Marcel: lowkey

Brock: oh Marcel you're back to normal

Marcel: yeah my depression just hit me like a truck after the last of my coffee drained out

Brian: BIG MOOD

Tyler: thanks for the help guys guess i'll just go fuck myself and cry bc it's ramen night for the third time in a row

Lui: i'm on a 7 day streak lets go boys

David: you should be dead holy shit

Jon: 10 days!!!

David: JESUS

Lui: okok, wait, JON should acc be dead

Lui: he's paper bruh

Jon: HEY I WENT OUTSIDE TODAY BY MY OWN WILL

Jon: ...to get my mail

Tyler: the mailboxes are inside the dorm buildings???

Jon: yeah

Tyler: ??.?.?>?//

Jon: OHH SORRY

Jon: I meant outside my room

Tyler: eye-

.

.

Jon: guys i'm gonna fail 

Brock: fail what

Jon: life

Brock: oh

Brock: same

Marcel: guys Brian got fucking WASTED last night

Brock: you guys acc went to the party????

Craig: you didn't?????

Brock: NO????

Brock: I have a fucking exam today that I should be studying for rn smh

Craig: studying, shmudying

Brock: aren't you in my class???

Brock: DON'T YOU HAVE A D IN THIS CLASS????

Craig: WOW WAY TO FUCKING EXPOSE ME

Lui: sorry craig

Lui: but I don't think any of us are surprised

Craig: . . .

Anthony: *wheeze*

Craig: did you seriously just text

Craig: "*wheeze*"

Anthony: yes

Anthony: yes I did

Brian: my head

Brian: fucking HURTS

Brock: feel better bb

David: hA

David: GAYYYY

Brock: and?

David: oh

David: well I mean

David: uhm

David: good for you guys?

Brian: WE'RE NOT DATING WTF

Brock: (he's in denial)

Brian: brock stfu

Brock: XDDDDD

.

.

Evan: I was at hockey practice

Tyler: little late there evan

Brian: only evan would kindly reply to something said a day ago

Evan: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

.

.

Marcel: EVAN HAS HICKEYS

Marcel: EVAN HAS HICKEYS

Marcel: EVAN HAS HICKEYS

Brock: EVAN HAS HICKEYS??

Marcel: EVAN HAS HICKEYS.

Tyler: OH SHIT

Tyler: SOMEONE GET EVAN ON

Brock: SHIT I DONT SEE HIM FOR LIKE ANOTHER HOUR FOR BRUNCH

Lui: HWAT'S GOING ON

Marcel: EVAN HAS HICKEYS

Brock: EVAN HAS HICKEYS

Ohm: EVAN HAS HICKEYS???

Brock: EVAN HAS HICKEYS

Brian: WOAH WOAH WAOH

Brian: THIS IS NEWS TO ME

Lui: ^^

Brian: WAIT I THINK HIS CLASS IS NEXT TO MINE

Brian: WAITWAITCLASS IS ALMOST DISMISSED

Lui: holyshithofysd

Brock: i'm so shook

Brock: evan has been alone for so long

Tyler: lone owl no more??

Brian: okkokok

Brian: one minute

Brock: hnnfghdnsjf

Brian: THIRTY SECONDS

Brian: TEN SECONDS

Brian: GOTTA GO GOTTA GO GOTTA GO

Brian: I GOT THE BITCH IN MY SIGHTS

Brock: omgomgomgm

Ohm: thE ANTICIPATIONNNN

Brock: JFHDJKHJDS

Lui: omgggggg cmon brian do us good

Lui: this is the most action i'm ever gonna get for years

Brock: oh well

Brock: that's sad..

Evan: MARCEL HOW THEFUCK DID YOU KNOW????

Marcel: HAHAHAHHAH

Tyler: evan you have some 'splaININ TO DO

Brock: mMMHMMM

Lui: spill the tea sis

Evan: i aint sayin notinnnnn'

Ohm: you can't Canadian accent out of this

Evan: notin to splainnnnn

Evan: gudbyeeee

Ohm: NOPE

Lui: getcho ass back here boi

Brock: SPILL.

Evan: nop

Evan: SHIT BRIAN HIT ME

Ohm: YEAH KEEP BEATING HIM UP BRIAN

Evan: okok fr

Evan: marcel how did you know????

Marcel: I have my ways...

Marcel: jk you're a fucking dumbass and moved the collar of your shirt to itch your shoulder

Marcel: and WOW WHATS THAT PURPLE SPOT ON EVAN'S COLLARBONE??

Marcel: HMMMMM

Evan: shit

Marcel: uh-huh

Lui: you're gonna tell us about it whether you like it or not

Lui: who's the lucky gal 

Evan: uh

Evan: well

Brock: wdym uh well

Brock: WAIT WDYM UH WELL

Brian: wait what

Tyler: wait what

Ohm: shit he left

Evan: no I didn't

Brock: WDYM UH WELL

Evan: uh

Evan: well

Tyler: jesus christ

Tyler: I could be doing important shit rn

Ohm: tyler aren't you supposed to be working rn???

Tyler: stfu

Brian: evan are you gonna spill the beans or what

Brian: if not I'm gonna go do my daily jack off

Jon: hey guys

Evan: hey Jon

Evan: can you help me out here

Brock: you won't escape us evan

Brock: not even Jon can shut us up

Jon: uh

Jon: well

Ohm: wtf

Ohm: why are you both acting weird

Tyler: ohm

Tyler: OHM

Tyler: OMFG

Tyler: WAIT A MINUTE

Ohm: WHAT

Tyler: EVAN

Tyler: JON

Evan: ooo gotta blast

Jon: same hahahha bYE

Brian: holy shit

Brock: holy fuck

Tyler: I-

 


	4. time to bully brian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lowkey I'm sorry if you're a brian stan he's getting bullied this entire chapter LOL

Brian: okay

Brian: who took my FUCKING airpods

Marcel: really had to emphasize the fucking didnt you

Lui: marcel dont ever say that sentence again please there are children here

Marcel: YOU KNOW WHT I MEANT

Marcel: and wdyMmm children literally all of us here lost our innocence years ago

Bryce: hi guys!! just got back from poetry club, how is everyone :))))) <33 

Marcel: weLLL I stannd corrrcted

Lui: marcel why are you typing like that

Brian: HI HELLO STILL FUCKING HERE AND AIRPOD-LESS

Evan: I feel like this is just Brian's way of flexing tbh

Brian: shut up bitch

Evan: whoever has his airpods please keep them, this is the only time he's ever listened to me

Brian: evan like seriously I'm allergic to your existence go the fuck away

Evan: gasp I'm sO offended D:

Anthony: my parents said that to me when I was little

David: I'm so offended ??

Anthony: no go the fuck away

David: oh

Marcel: firStt off

Marcel: sorry to hear that Anthony dw we support you

Marcel: second off

Marcel: David uRRRR a dumbass

David: why do I even join these fucking conversations

Jon: because you love us uwu

David: nobody loves you jon

Brian: DID JON JUST USE UWU I THINK IM GONNA VOMIT

David: see? nobody loves you

Jon: DDDDDD'X

Marcel: sorrry I was aboutto deefend you jon but you acc text liek an 11 year oldwhhho plays fortnite but watcHes anime on the weekneds

Brian: you basically just described yourself but ok

Lui: yo marcel you good fam

Anthony: why is he typing so much lol

Marcel: nobOdy loves you eithherr brian like shit brUHH shut your fucking LIL ass up bc yoou ain't shit like who tf gaveb you permisisoan to be a bcitch goddamn istg everydayay you just crying about ur proeblematic life why do you alwayshave to attacc us liek we ain't shit to youwtffff like

Brian: ...

Evan: . . .

Jon: uh

Anthony: *twiddles thumbs*

Marcel: shit sorry

Marcel: autocorrect LOLOL

Marcel: that waas mean but it's okayyy becasue you're a greatt frend*****

Marcel: haha mybad winky face

David: he fucking typed winky face my life is over

Anthony: bets on whether or not hes drunk rn

.

.

.

Marcel: ayo so like

Marcel: I was super hammered last night

Anthony: (I fucking knew it)

Marcel: did I say anything mean or stupid to any of you guys?

Jon: I mean-

David: oof

Brian: marcel where do you live

Marcel: uhh dorm building 2

Brian: what room

Marcel: room 24 why

Brian: I'm coming over to beat the SHIT out of you

Marcel: FUCK

Lui: ...

Lui: really had to emphasize the shit didnt you

Marcel: NOT NOW LUI

.

.

.

Tyler: I have your airpods

Brian: YOU SNAKE

Brian: YOU SLIMY GREEN SLITHERING NO LIMBED REPTILE

Tyler: BECAUSE YOU LEFT IT IN MY DORM YOU DUMBASS JFC

Brian: oh shit

Brian: thanks for keeping them safe boo I'll pick em up tonight 😘

Tyler: I actually hate you

Evan: same

Brian: evan where tf did you come from

Evan: idk I just wanted to be part of the conversation

.

.

.

Evan: I said it once I will say it again

Evan: i sincerely wish someone actually stole Brian's airpods

Brian: ???? wtf???

Evan: ahem

Brian: what

Evan: I SINCERELY WISH SOMEONE ACTUALLY STOLE BRIAN'S AIRPODS

Brian: are you trying to talk over me through fucking text?

Brian: because it doesn't work like that

Evan: yes it does

Brian: no it doesnt

Evan: IM TALKING OVER YOU

Evan: BLAH LAH KAHBLAHBLAHHA

Brian: evan wtf

Evan: LOOK AT ME

Evan: TALKING OVER BRIAN

Evan: BECAUSE

Evan: WHEN I SPAM

Brian: you're wasting your time

Evan: HE DOESNT GET A CHANCE TO TALK 

Evan: AND HE WONT SPAM BC

Evan: HE WANTS TO COME OFF

Evan: AS THE MORE CIVIL PERSON

Evan:  IN THIS ARGUMENT

Brian: I mean yes but

Evan: OTHERWISE HIS

Evan: BIG

Evan: FUCKING

Evan: EGO

Evan: WILL BE HURT

Brian: WOW ASSHOLE

Evan: SHHHHHHSHSHS

Evan: HUSHSJJ

Brian: SHUT THE FUCK UP

Evan: SORRY CANT HEAR YOU BITCH

Evan: ZJKSJSK

Evan: JSKSJSIJJJS

Evan: PWUSSYYYIS

Evan: HULLAKALskkKAAJ

Jon: CAN BOTH OF YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP????

.

Evan: sorry

Evan: but brian started it

Brian: this bitch says sorry to Jon but continues to harass me

Anthony: I'm so confused

Anthony: wtf is going on

Brian: yeah EVAN

Brian: explain yourself, huh?

Evan: okokok

Evan: acc wtf it's so simple

Evan: Brian's tryna be a flex god and taking away his airpods takes away his power 

Brian: IS THAT SERIOUSLY YOUR WHOLE ARGUMENT 

Brian: THATS YOU BEING JEALOUS FUCK OFF

Jaren: nah lowkey evan got a point

Brian: JAREN'S IN THIS GROUPCHAT????

John: yooo brian out there with the airpod boisss 

John: dunno how I feel about that man

Brian: YOU TOO???

Brian: OUT OF ALL THE TIMES YOU COULD'VE TALKED IN THIS CHAT ITS NOW???

Brian: **WHAT IS GOING ON???**

Marcel: I think you guys gave him a mental breakdown

Evan: maybe his airpods will cure it

Brian: I hate you evan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah so it's been like...3 months?  
> I legitimately wanted to post something but I didnt have any content come to mind (except bullying brian bc that seems like the easiest thing to write 😅)


End file.
